Sounds like a lofty question, doesn’t it? Well, lucky for you this isn’t a long exploration into the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. For those of you who want to have that conversation, I’m generally up to it. Just be warned that inquiring about such things may lead to regretting you asked—especially if I’m walking at the time as that helps me get my ‘ramble’ on. If you’d prefer a more succinct answer (and perhaps the best I’ve found) check out the answer provided here.

What this post is about is the blog’s current lack of direction and regular updates.

In large part these problems are symptoms of a recent problem: my lack of routine, schedule, and time. Hopefully in the next month or so things will slow down, and I’ll be able to refocus my efforts here and elsewhere. I want to refocus and find some things I’m passionate about and make them realities. Over the course of the years I’ve had so many different goals that truly completing one has been a challenge. I bounce from one project to the next with such frequency that I often feel the embodiment of the old title “Jack of all trades, master of none”.

Just quickly thumbing through my mind (metaphorically of course), I can think of near a dozen initiatives I’ve excitedly tried to embrace. But to my chagrin less than half that number have become manifest in some tangible outcome. Less still come close to living up to my original expectations, hopes, or desires. I want to turn this around so that those ideas I am really serious about get acted upon and make it through to full fruition.

Now obviously this is harder than it sounds. Even the most basic aspect of that plan (i.e. choosing things to focus on is a problem). So to figure out how I’m going to do this I want to first figure out what’s stopping me—what questions need to be answered before proceeding. I don’t claim to have answers to these questions now, but I hope to in the near future.

How do I identify those projects or goals I’m truly serious about?
This is very important, despite its sounding trivial. A lot of effort can be wasted by immediately throwing all ones resources (e.g. mental, time, emotional, etc) at a project just to realize it was a flight of fancy.

What are the desired outcomes I’m seeking?
Another trap I’ve fallen into before is chasing goals and dreams that have no concrete endings. While the end need not be realistic and goals not laid out in a formal way, a vision is invaluable. It’s often said “It’s not the destination, but the journey that is of importance”, but running wildly down a path in no particular direction can lead to you running in circles leading to dissatisfaction and disillusionment.

Is the project / goal realistic? (i.e. How much time / effort / money is required?)
Some projects are just not realistic. No matter how much I want to open my own video store and make independent films, I don’t have the money or resources to do so—not yet at least. Good for me that this isn’t a goal of mine, eh? That said, this should be more a reality check than a deal breaker. Most resource goals can be overcome in time with enough dedication (and sometimes sacrifice).

How can I learn about and begin to pursue this goal?
Often times I feel that I possess the vision, but no understanding of how to tactically go about achieving it. With the internet and proliferation of information regarding all manner of things, often times it’s not a question of if the information is out there, but how do you find it. Still the finding of this information can pose a serious obstacle and lead to early abandonment of a goal.

Is this practical?
Personally I hate this question and often spend energy deliberately avoiding it. And often times it’s not relevant. Many aspirations are an end within themselves. There is often no reason why someone needs to master an instrument, but the exercise can serve as a means of relaxation, meditation, and most importantly self-actualization. Still, in some cases practicality can play an important role in either pursuing or abandoning an ambition.

Is this more important than that?
Perhaps the most difficult of the above questions to answer is related to the prioritization of goals. What makes this such a fundamentally challenging question is that the answer can legitimately change over time. Life circumstances, evolving personal relationships, newly discovered ambitions can all play a role in changing who we want to be.

And More…

So now what? Well I hope to make my first step trying to answer these questions for those dozen or so things I want to accomplish. Perhaps from there I can move forward to execute on them. I can tell you one goal I have is to more regularly update this blog. I initially had some fairly ambitious goals for this space, and although they may not ever see the light of day I want to keep the site fresh. The form that takes and the content it includes may be different, but I want to make this an ongoing exercise for my own well being if nothing else.

And with that I’m out.

This past Saturday I had the distinct pleasure of venturing out of San Francisco with some fellow scallywags to attend the 2^nd Annual NorCal Pirate Festival. That morning, after getting myself appropriately dressed with my best pirate gear (mostly rolled up khakis and a white dress shirt worn as disheveledly as possible) I made my way to the secret pirate cove (a.k.a. friend’s apartment) that was to serve as our meeting place. Here we shared all the pirate-y things various folks had acquired, from eye patches, to hats, to wigs, and even tape on beards and mustaches.

By the end we were all sporting a number of unique pirate items: hooks, Johnny Depp style facial hair, bandannas, neck tattoos, studded eye patches, big leather belts, a sash of skulls (yeah I said sash of skulls). One thing though that became painfully clear as the group of four guys stood about: it’s difficult for professional guys to put together a unique looking base outfit. Each and every one of us was dressed in matching Khakis and white shirts. Solution: meet the white and khaki klan! All outfitted we made our way to the ships—er cars—to begin our journey!

As there were six of us though, we could not fit in a single car. Though we divided easily enough, our pirate pride soon kicked in, and as all good pirates do from time to time, we began the infighting. Just some healthy competition, since nothing keeps a pirate on his toes like the looming of imminent danger! Alas no one challenged anyone to a duel—that comes later—but there was a clear gauntlet thrown on the superior ship car (I need to stop doing that, eh?). Captained by the Mighty Melissa was the “cool” car, crewed by my roommate and me; our bane on the highways seas was the “fun” car captained by April “Rackem” and crewed by Dave and Dan. Sadly the ride there was inconclusive as to the superiority of each vehicle—but time would soon reveal a clear winner.

Arriving at the Pirate Fest we excitedly donned the last of our pirate gear and followed the thralls to the entrance. Erected to great us was a large ship mast proudly flying the skull and bones; at its base, a collection of mermaids. It was from here that the true revelry began. Shops and stores of all kinds were punctuated by medieval versions of arcade style games. There was a stage for rotating shoes, and roped off sections providing little vignettes of what ‘life as a pirate’. Toward the end of our time there, they also had a fake raid on those vignette encampments by a ship off the shore…a real ship. With everyone gathered around by the water, the ship made closes passes to the shore and exchanged cannon fire with those on shore. Perhaps the most entertaining aspect were the costumed pirates roaming the small alleys created by the arrangement of the shop tents. Near a dozen characters from the pirates of the Caribbean trilogy were balanced by other more authentic—or at least not as commercially derived—pirates. Without question, for me, the absolute highlight of these roaming characters was a tall man completely done up down to the literal score of rings on his fingers accompanied by his three parrots. Not fake birds sitting dead on his shoulder, mind you, but real living birds. Better than this, he was putting on a little show, handing off his birds to passersby, sometimes spontaneously perching them on an unsuspecting spectator’s shoulder.

In addition to the six of us from San Francisco, we met up with one of the girls friends and her 4 year old son. Perhaps it goes without being said, but he had an fantastic time. More than that though, he made it more enjoyable for all of us I think. The duels I alluded to earlier…they were his doing. Most of us took our turns with this unbridled fighter, failing to turn back his ferocious attacks. Dan perhaps suffered the worst fate…dying at the hands of the little rug rat. Actually, it wasn’t a bad trade since his lying dead earned him a gold piece from a passing pirate who in paying his respects laid It upon his eye to help in pay the boatman as he passed. This was more fortuitous than any of us imagined, for it was but a short time later he got himself caught by slavers while playing around in an ostensibly abandoned cage.

All-in-all the festival itself was quite enjoyable. Good food, good people, good shops, and good fun! When it came down to it though, it was little more than a RenFaire with flags and a disproportionate amount of pirates. Jousts were replaced by cannon exchanges and jugglers with parrot people. Don’t get me wrong! This was NOT a bad thing. I have quite the affinity for RenFaires and hope to get to one soon. But it did make me miss my friends from school with whom I could have likely roamed the rows of shops for hours, looking at everything, playing with swords, and taking turns trying on hand made clothes and armor of all sorts. Perhaps with some convincing I can get some of them out when they do the NorCal RenFaire!

While the trip out didn’t resolve the heated pirate debate which car was superior: “cool” or “fun”, it is my opinion that the return trip was conclusive. Pulling up to the toll for the Bay Bridge coming back into San Francisco, we in the “cool” car bounced and bop to 80’s rock with the windows down. Just chilling in line who do we see pull up next to us? You guessed it…the “fun” car with a somber captain and two near sleeping crew. In that moment our pride welled and we dubbed ourselves the “cool funner” car—we’re pirates so don’t get on us for the grammar—for the rest of the trip back. The End.

The Title Explained: So the title is based on the combination of two concepts. The first I’m sure you’ve all got: ARRRR is a pirate thing. The second is a bit of an inside joke. The short of it is that since moving to San Francisco I have become quite the champion for it when speaking to my friends—one in particularly. Poking fun at my apparent fanaticism about the city, he held the following conversation with himself, presumably mocking this obsession:

Me (voiced by him): So how is it where you are?

Them (also voiced by him): Not bad, a bit (hot/cold/windy/rainy/etc.). how about in SF?

Me: Same as always. Mid-60s, sunny, slight breeze.

Them: What about all that fog?

Me: Fog is no problem, all it does is obscure the horizon.

Them: Oh right, its just the viel of paradise keeping out ugliness and those not worthy.

I thought it was extremely funny—though after trying to type it out, perhaps you had to be there..or at least here him voice it in his excessively sarcastic way. And ever since, whenever fog is mentioned we come back to remembering that its not fog; its just the veil of paradise. So since we traveled outside San Francisco for the Pirate Fest, we pierced the veil of paradise. There you have it—more information than you cared to know. Until next time!

…brought to you by Virgin America and storm front Wisconsin.

So there seems to be some nice parallelism in my writing this post since, its once again being written from, oh let’s say, 34,029 Feet—yeah that sounds right. As perhaps someone has noticed, it’s been a while again since I updated this. And while I’m sure no one is dying from anticipation I still feel that I’m not living up to my promise (to you and myself) to be more proactive about maintain the blog with new content. Why you ask? Well, the reason is twofold: work and play.

On the work side I’ve actually getting pretty engrossed with my current project since it happens to be something I’m pretty interested in…the Web. While I don’t get to do anything as drastic as design pages or anything, I am very active in designing the web strategy for the client. What does that mean? Put simply, it’s determining (1) why they should be on the Web, (2) what capabilities should the web presence provide, (3) how can we fulfill on delivering these capabilities, and (4) what are the first steps in implementing these capabilities. See? Pretty cool, no? Anyhow, I think it is. It’s actually the second Web related project I’ve been on. If I had my way I’d stick to web projects; they are interesting and I feel I have something real I can add to the team.

Actually, that is all a very good seagway into two big things I’m working on in the ‘play’ arena. Both relate to the web. The first is my very own website. Yes sirs (and ma’ams), extranerousperipheralstuff.com is coming back. The form is yet to be decided, but at the very least It will serve as the new home for this ramblelog ©. I’ve been playing around with HTML and CSS coding and I’m hoping I can bring a bit more unique and clean look to the site. Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite pleased with what I’ve got here, but there is something satisfying about hand coding—or perhaps I’m crazy <_<

The second Web-thing I’ve been working on actually has become my way of experimenting. It’s the ever developing website for my friend’s wedding. Kind of a weird thing to be working on given neither of us have ever created a web page before, but we were talking over lunch one day and jokingly suggested that people in the invite wouldn’t an electronic RSVP be cool—perhaps via a google email address. Well, the conversation quickly spiraled out of control, as things do when you are talking tech as geeks, and we had an arm length list of cool things to do on a wedding webpage.

So with heads filled with hopes and dreams we went and registered him a domain and started trying to figure out how to implement all these crazy things. The plan was: Dan handles all the technical back-end and I try to pretty it up and come up with a reasonably attractive interface. So far, both areas show promise, but neither is totally there yet—well Dan’s bit almost is. If you want to see the work-in-progress, head on over to dna.ludwinksi.com. As I said, it’s a far from complete, but I’m pretty pleased with what Dan and I have been able to achieve in two weeks of self-instruction and messing around. All sorts of features are up in various states from CSS roll-over menus (which might get ditched) to google maps integration to a functioning RSVP that feeds a back end database. Perhaps I’ll post another entry with a bit more about how we are designing the site. Actually I think “regular” (notice the quotes) updates might be fun—I’ll do that!

Other things… Oh yeah! The reason I’m back East, again. Not surprisingly it’s for work. It’s kind of funny actually. Despite my company being HQ’d in Bethesda (outside DC), until four weeks ago I’d not been back. Now I’ve been back twice in a month. Who knows the next time I’ll get back. While it adds some hecticness to my schedule and totally breakdowns the routine of my life there are a number of perks. First and foremost is that I get to see one of my friends who lives back east and works at the NIH. Given I’d not seen him in a year I was glad to make it back. It was interesting actually, despite having not seen each other in a year, we talk so often that it felt like no time at all. I’m taking this as a good sign. Also, being back east gives me the chance to experience seasons and exciting weather things like thunder and lightning! Yeah, yeah, I’m weird but I love the stuff. What beats hanging by the window as the lightening crackles and the thunder booms? Answer: nothing. Another neat thing: clouds. I’m not talking tendrils or perhaps sheets of fog that happen to be 1000 feet up, I mean big ol’ poufy cumulus clouds—the ones you wish you could use as pillows or blankets.

Speaking of traveling, I get the distinct privilege of traveling AGAIN midnight on Sunday, but this time to Minnesota. Surprisingly, I’ve actually been there before. About four years ago (give or take a few months) I was out in St. Paul to participate in my very first collegiate Mock Trial Tournament—oh the memories. This time the agenda will be different, but I have the feeling I’ll see just as little of the city and be more focused on work than play. Alas, I shall survive. Part of me though is pretty excited to have the travel done with and be able to focus again on San Francisco.

Speaking of San Francisco, I’m excited to have a new guest headed out there joining me. So in conclusion: Mike, welcomewelcome!

So first off, let me just say that I absolutely LOVE Virgin America. Thanks to their plug in every seat I’m able to putz around on my computer and even get work don on this near 6 hour flight back home. Most importantly this extra juice is allowing me to write while in mid-flight. Generally I’d not do something that is so “YAY 1990’s technology–look and me on a plane with a computer!”, but I couldn’t help myself. Why you might ask? Well because between putting together some slides and turning the Candy Mountain Candy Cave song into a ringtone, I turned to the starboard side of the plane to glimpse one of the most impressive displays of lightning I’ve ever seen.

It’s been about 10 minutes since I first saw it and its still rolling across the horizon below me. Now I’ve seen some pretty impressive thunderstorms before, but the constant bolts arching between ground and cloud below are literally constant—yes, I mean that in the true sense of the word. At any given moment, somewhere in the sky there is a patch of searing white light. Occasionally I’m even lucky enough to glimpse the shape of the bolt beneath the clouds. Also thanks to Virgin I know I’m precisely on the border of Kentucky and Tennessee—yay for GPS. If I had a camera I’d take some shots of this because it’s absolutely awe-inspiring. What I wouldn’t do to be down there with the pounding rain and whistling wind, lightning striking all around me and thunder booming overhead. As you might have guessed I’ve been deprived of my thunderstorms lately.

The constant speed of these strikes actually is reminding me of how movies portray WWII scenes of the Battle of Britain at night, AA gun lightening up every corner of the sky. My only other point of reference could provide would have to be a bad sci-fi movie starring a grumpy Thor. Anyhow I’m going to stop typing and get back to watching. Ciao.

Monday night on Fox showcased the season finale of a new found favorite of mine: Bones. To best describe Bones I turn to IMDB.

Brilliant, but socially inept, forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperence Brennan works at the Jeffersonian Institute in Washington DC. After consulting for him on a FBI case, she is approached by cocky yet charming ex-Army Ranger turned Special Agent, Seeley Booth to help the Bureau solve crimes by identifying human remains that are too far gone for standard FBI forensic investigations. Brennan’s empirical, literal view of the world causes friction with Booths emotive, instinctive attitude creating a volatile relationship. However as their case load increases the symbiotic partnership produces results and with the support of Brennan’s Squint Squad, murderers, past and present should be on the lookout.

As usual, it excelled in providing an exciting, compelling, witty, smart (if techno-babblish), romantically-charged hour of entertainment. Adding to this usual array of strengths, the episode promised to deliver on a season of clues involving a series of cannibalistic murders. On the whole, it fulfilled its promises in a satisfying way. However, in the last five minutes or so, the show lost me. What follows after the jump is an investigation into what I consider one of the few failings of an otherwise brilliant show and stellar season.

SPOILER :: This post contains a number of spoilers regarding Bones. If you have NOT watched through season three of bones, back away from this computer, buy the DVDs, grab some popcorn, and find a TV.

Now that that’s over, I can get to the heart of the matter: why I didn’t find the convincing of Dr. Addy to first commit murder and then admit he was wrong compelling. What follows is first the base of the argument as explained by Dr. Brennan (and affirmed by Zack) and my rebuttal to its main points. Enjoy and feel free to disagree.

(Implicit) Assumption 0: The historical human experience as a whole is more important than a single person’s life

Assumption 1: Secret societies exist.

Assumption 2: The existence of such societies is detrimental to mankind.

Assumprion 3: Attacking and killing members of secret societies will have an ameliorating affect on the human experience.

(Implicit) Conclusion: Killing the members of such societies is a good idea.

Murder by Tin Foil Hat

To begin, I’m going to address why I believe the logic Zack has used to commit murder fails.

Assumption 0: “The historical human experience as a whole is more important than a single person’s life”

For the sake of starting at the beginning, I will address this initial assumption very briefly by saying that I do not agree with it. However, since I could continue for the better part of 10 pages going point for counter-point I’ll let those who want to investigate this notion Google utilitarianism. For all others, we move on.

Assumption 1: “Secret societies exist”

Zach Addy is supposed to be an objective, logical, disassociated scientist. He is characterized oft times by his inability and unwillingness to speculate, participate in baseless conjecture, or draw conclusions from all but the most solid of evidence.

Why then does he believe that secret societies exist?

His purported rational is the evidence and testimony of Dr. Hodgins. Lets investigate this a moment. Dr. Hodgins is also a logical individual, who prefers to make conclusions based on hard facts. However, he is also as seen through his interactions with many characters to be prone to flights of fancy and drawn to conclusions supported by only circumstantial evidence. Even if this evidence is overwhelming, it does not validate—in the logical sense—the belief in these conclusions. For instance when Booth insists the squints begin speculating Hodgins is generally the first inline. A more striking example is his infatuation with the pirate treasure in one of the second season episodes. Not only does he become intellectually curious about it, but it blinds him and puts him in mortal danger. Given the relationship of Zach and Hodgins, there seems no reason the former isn’t aware of the weakness of the latter on this front. Does he still then believe that all Hodgins says is material fact?

What about the “evidence” itself? Like all conspiracy theorists, Hodgins’ evidence is a long string of interconnected facts. While all the individual maybe unquestionably true and some even linked, the rest of the links between them are at best tenuous and at worst based on wild unverifiable presumptions. One purposed solution to this is that perhaps “the master” (who I’m going to refer to as Darth Cannis for reasons the people who watch will understand) had incontrovertible evidence to prove that secret societies do exist. Or perhaps one can argue that the existence of secret societies is inarguable—look at things like the skull and bones for proof.

For argument’s sake then, let us assume that ’secret’ societies do exist. This still leaves to question the nature of these groups…

Assumption 2: “The existence of such societies is detrimental to mankind.”

In a formal logic argument there would need to be another assumption that identifies the nature of secret societies. For simplicity sake though, I’ll just discuss it here as a necessary assumption about these societies, which is needed to have the above assumption B make sense.

The existence of secret societies in and of itself indicates nothing of their nature. There is no clear justification for believing that being secret in and of itself detrimental. Arguing that a secret society is by definition affecting the world negatively begs the question of whether any secret is just as harmful by its nature. Assuming this is true, the fact that a society is merely secret no longer is a distinguishing feature that should condemn them. This means that in order for assumption B to be true there must be a different property of the society that is making it detrimental.

There are two remaining things I’d like to discuss related to this.

First, what evidence is there to prove that these secret societies (which we are assuming exist) are evil or the performer of evil acts? If we either take Hodgins at his word or use real world examples of things like the Skull and Bones, we have no evidence to indicate they are manipulative, murderous, or the committers of other heinous acts. Skull and Bones for instance is in reality a harmless hangout for the elite where they gather together to make themselves feel better. Moving on then we must rely on the stories and ‘evidence’ of Hodgins to provide us the proof that these societies are in fact detrimental. Here again we run into all the same problems as before and are left with the only possible answer being another assumption: Darth Cannis had the answers to these questions—which to me feels like a cop out.

The second remaining point I have is regarding the nature of this ‘detriment’. Let us assume for a moment that indeed secret societies are detrimental. In order for this to matter in the full scheme of the argument, this detriment must be greater than the actions the argument is meant to justify, namely the killing of these societal members—at minimum!

I say at minimum because the actions of Darth Cannis and his apprentice didn’t end there. They continued on to eating the corpse and ritualistically organizing the bones in elaborate patterns. One might argue that since Zach didn’t eat anyone it cannot be considered a factor in is judgment. Or perhaps since the person was dead what happened with the corpse was irrelevant. In my opinion, his non participation in the eating is irrelevant since he was aware of its happening. By allowing it, he was implicit in it. With regard to the objection that the actions post-mortem are irrelevant, I again must disagree. While it makes no difference to the deceased, it effects the family and more broadly society. Being such a close friend with Bones (Dr. Brennan)—the noted anthropologist she is—there is NO way that these effects should have escaped his understanding. Even if you discount all of these secondary factors, there is no way to escape the fact that Zach was using this argument to justify a murder (and possibly more in the future).

On what basis did Zach justify that these killings were going to be less a detriment to society than the actions allegedly being undertaken by the members of these societies? Again we must turn to our two main sources: Hodgins and Darth Cannis. Since we’ve been through my arguments as they relate to the validity of their evidence I’ll simply refer you back up the page here.

Assumptions 1 + 2:

The final nail in the coffin for this theory in my mind is the fact that the best evidence to justify Assumption 1 and 2 is in fact the VERY ACTIONS of Zack and Darth Cannis. They together constitute a secret society and their actions are most certainly directly detrimental to mankind. Given that should Zack not be just as compelled to kill The Master or himself? Though he might insist that he and the master are different, in truth any argument would beg the question of “how?”

One counterargument to this might go: “Two people do not form a society; therefore the actions are not hypocritical.” However, throughout the early part of this third season it is made clear through a number of people that Darth Cannis is indeed invoking and modeling his actions after that of a secret society. Also, as my nickname alludes to, there are secret societies that consist at one time of two (or fewer) members. A society is a communal identity that exists beyond the members. Such is the case with the Gormogon society that the master was a part of and Zack was an initiate in.

The “Epiphony”

Now that I’ve established why I don’t feel Zack’s motivation for killing compelling, I’m going to touch on why I don’t believe he should have been so easily convinced he was wrong. I promise this will be shorter.

Assumption 0:

To start, let us grant Dr. Addy that it was logical to preserve the “historical human experience” through the murder of a single individual. In the show, Dr. Brennan attacks his argument by ostensibly cutting it off at its roots – at Assumption 0. Dr. Brennan purports that Zack’s single act of preserving Hodgins from harm refutes the core assumption of his argument.

In reality, his noncompliance with his own principal doesn’t refute its validity. Her argument in fact relies on one of the simplest fallacies in logic: Ad Hominem Tu Quoque. She argues that Zack’s principal doesn’t hold because his actions imply that he valued Hodgins’ life over his continuing mission to preserve the “historic human experience”. In reality, the only thing that Dr. Brennan has proven is that Zack Addy isn’t as infallible and totally logical as he would like to be. Rather he is human and sometimes fails to practice what he preaches. Zack’s actions were likely motivated by the emotions he and Hodgins had developed over the years.

With this in mind, what is the reason that Zack would admit defeat? I see the only option being that he’s abandoned the logic which supposedly brought him to his current situation. For Zack, this might not be a bad development, but for the writers I feel it’s a continuity issue.

Now What…

So now that I’ve gone on, and on, and on. I shall rest my case here. There are a number of other things I could speak to, but for my own well-being I shall stop. Hope you enjoyed it!

So my first return trip to Colgate since my summer of graduation has come and gone…and I don’t regret going for a minute. The experience on the whole was amazing. I not only got to hang around, party, play Frisbee, go to free concerts, and not worry about work, but most importantly I got to see people I’d not seen in near a year. For some it will be the last time I see them, but I hope for others it’s the start (or renewal) of a friendship that will far outlast life at Colgate.

I’m not going to get into all the things I did because quite frankly it would be boring and tire both you and me. I will however hit the highlights. Chief among them was the most relaxing and fantastic Saturday I’ve had in…well as long as I can remember. All morning I spent out in a grassy field moving from spot to spot to talk, play wiffle ball, eat free food, enjoy some fantastic music, and just generally lounge about.

I spent about an hour or so sitting in the grass having an amazing conversation and watching crazy (presumably drunk) college students scurry about playing “Double Dare”. Of course they had no formal course so the natural thing to do was replicate one from normal everyday kid toys and household goods. Slime became jello, pies became some kind of cream in an aluminum pie tray, etc. The highlight—I use this term loosely—of the ‘games’ was a version of flipcup (yes the drinking game) where instead of beer they used all manner of disgusting alternatives: hot mustard, Tabasco sauces…you see where this went. The excitement of the kids though was contagious and I often found myself cheering for them on the inside, and sometimes out loud.

The concert on the field which I mentioned turned out to be OK Go of YouTube fame.

Despite chants from rowdy students of “Where are the treadmills” and “you’re better on YouTube!” I greatly enjoyed their performance. The front man was genuinely funny and made a concerted effort to engage the students. They tossed tambourines into the audience to get them shaking right along with the band. At one point they even moved ‘the stage’ to the center of crowd and performed a few numbers. Perhaps the funny story/line he used revolved around the imposing gong which lived in the center of the stage. After mentioning that ‘he recently acquired it’, he regretfully informed the students that it was of no use as despite his best efforts he was unable to set it afire. And what good, may I ask, is a gong if you can’t set it on fire? Still at one point he allowed a student to come and bang on the gong.

An honorable mention must go out to the opening act Bloodcat Love who did a phenomenal job of pumping up a bunch of hung-over college kids at 2PM in the afternoon.

The presumed best act of the weekend Giants of Science on the other hand was a bit of a letdown. Thanks to a late start and overly intoxicated students many of the songs that they historically played got skipped or interrupted. Rain forced everyone under a tent, that while large enough to hold the audience allowed no room to move or find people once out of visual range or ear shot – both of which were about 3 feet. Luckily the night didn’t end there and instead we went back out to ol’ faithful the Hourglass and hung around till closing. Overall it was a good cap to the evening…or so I thought!

The end of Saturday night / Sunday morning occurred in the apartment of one of the Trialers where we sat, watched some tv and ate food prepared by the apartment’s chef, a soon to be graduated friend of mine. It wasn’t until about 5 am when I decided it was time to wake my friend Bob (who’d fallen asleep long ago) and head back to where we were staying.

So much for me not talking about everything I did. But at least I limited it to a single day rather than talking about all three, right? Right? Well, that about covers off SPW. As you can imagine I feel a little silly about all my worries regarding feeling out of place. Now to contemplate what I’m doing for next year…

So I was flipping through videos on youtube the other day – something I don’t do too often I’ll have you know – and I stumble upon something I only briefly recalled from my childhood: the Bud Ice Penguin. I had forgot just how fantastic of a marketing mascot that little avian was. Such a trouble maker…clever, deceitful, an alcoholic…Fantastic!

Clicking through the different ads feature this cool (pun intended) spokesperson, I saw one labeled “Bud Ice” but featuring a thumbnail of a forest. And who is in that forest? Not a penguin, but rather the silhouette of a man with a fedora. As anyone who knows me can be imagine I clicked on it instantly to figure out what Indy was doing in a bud ad!

In the first few seconds I quickly learned it wasn’t Indy himself, just a scene in homage to the great adventurer. A few more seconds in “Indy” is captured a long with his companions. His equipment is confiscated and he tied to a pole. What happened next completed this triumvirate of things I love…. Watch for yourself!

So this Wednesday I pack up my bags, hop a plane, and bum a ride back in time. I’m not really going back in time, of course. I’m just going back to Colgate. I’ve not returned to my alma mater since I graduated—save a trip in the summer when Colgate is not Colgate; its Hamilton, NY. A quiet town at the foot of a hill, which just so happens to house a host of large old buildings that sit quietly as a reminder that come September, Hamilton, NY will once again become Colgate University.

This trip though will not be to Hamilton, but to Colgate in rare form. No holds bar, gloves off, thrown down, crazy Colgate.  Or at least that’s how I prefer to remember it. I’m going back for SPW—as we in the “biz” call it…I have no idea WHAT “biz” so don’t ask. For the rest of you poor saps that’s Spring Party Weekend. The reality of the situation remains to be determined, but at the very least there will be more students than I care to count stumbling around after dark in a pleasantly numb stupor.

Generally this is a time of music, games, drinking, and general merriment. Think of it as a weekend of healthy regression when college kids get to do silly things like dunk tanks, sumo suit wrestling, etc. My senior year I did my best to participate as fully as was possible. Without a doubt I enjoyed myself…a lot! People both from ‘gate and visiting were there to share it with. We did ridiculous things like Jell-O wrestling and running around in the dark like crazy people. Moving from concert to concert, BBQ to BBQ. Making the most of everything that they were giving away.

My goal in planning this return trip was two-fold. The first was in general I wanted to see and catch up with all the former juniors, now seniors who I hung out with—mostly from Mock Trial—before they graduated and went off into the wide world of sports, er, life? Additionally, I wanted to relive a bit of the college experience with those people as well as my other friends who will be visiting concurrently.

So far all has fallen into place. I’ve talked to people at ‘Gate and they know I’m coming; I’ve coax a few of my recently graduated friends to make the trek back up to the middle of nowhere to share in the festivities; the bands are going to be good; I have a place to stay; my company during the travel bits is fantastic; ex cetera. Still, for some reason I am a bit nervous…

I’ve been thinking on it and I’m not sure why. Part of it I think is just worrying about how I’ll click with all these folks who are still in school. Have I changed a lot since I’ve graduated? I don’t think so, but can I be a fair judge of that? Will they have changed—who can say? Will I just feel old an awkward, out of place and feeling my age? Then there is always the impending potential awkwardness around ever changing personal relationships, which I’m not even going to get into. Something here, or all of it, has given me pause.

At this point though, there is no turning back. I’m going to do my best to enjoy myself. No sense in worrying about things that haven’t AND may never come to past. “Down that road lies madness.” My plan, in light of this, is to see as many people as I can, and enjoy myself doing it. If anyone reading this is at ‘gate, feel free to let me know what you are up to and I’ll do my best to run into you at some point—even if one (or both) of us won’t remember it.

PS: Work had swallowed me for the last…oh near month. So hopefully I’ll get back to you all with updates more regularly now. I talked to someone about getting my full site back up and running and I’m pretty psyched about it, so keep your eyes out.

So tonight was an interesting one. Let me start with some background though. I’m in Seattle today–sitting in my wonderful Marriott Courtyard room, as a matter of fact–as part of a 4 day trip for work. I’ve not traveled much recently. Not since early September, in fact. Something I admittedly find a bit odd as I traveled nearly once a week for the first month I was working. Alas, I’m on the road (or in the sky) again. I enjoy it for the most part. Nice to see different parts of the country–especially when it means i get to experience the seasons like winter that seem so elusive in San Francisco. Don’t get me wrong, I very much enjoy the temperate and beautiful weather we seem to have year round, but once and a while its nice to walk outside and see your breath. Weird? Perhaps. But I think I established that with my self proclaimed love for all-nighters.

Quick side note: be careful what you blog for. Not a week after writing and posting that entry I found my self awake till nearly 4:30 am working on a presentation  for work. My only complaint about it was that I had to do it while Bob was out here. It kind of ruined our  Thursday, and the consequent nap on Friday spent most of that evening as well.

All right, back to the topic at hand: food! So I am a big fan of food as many people know. As many people also know, I have very little exposure to more exotic (and some not so exotic) dishes. Additionally, I’ve historically been known to be very picky about my food. Slowly this is changing. Japan and college in general began to make me less picky about my food, and since Japan I’ve learned to try new things, even when it means not asking what is in front of me. “Eat first,  ask questions later (if ever)” has become a motto of mine. Generally my experiences following this mantra have been positive. I’ve tried a ton of new food and liked most of it, even if I don’t think I’d eat it again by choice.

Tonight though I didn’t have the luxury of abiding by my self imposed rule. I awoke this morning to an email thread from our client (Judith) inviting us to dinner at Tilth. As it turns out, it was a fairly famous and expensive place that boasts an entirely organic menu. It has been rated in the Top 10 new restaurants in the country by the New York Times, and reviewed well by a number of other sources. Sounds fantastic on the surface, right? I thought so. Reading through the thread though it became apparent that I was in  over my head.

Whereas generally they have a menu to choose from including seafood, beef, veggie dishes, etc., on Mondays they have  a single set menu. “What are the main courses?” you ask. Well, Steak Tartare and Beef-tongue. You heard me. Raw meet followed by cow tongue. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t very well refuse to go. That would be rude, plus I’m the junior person on the team, how would that look!? So I responded affirmatively making some joke about never turning down food i didn’t have to cook and tried to forget about it.

As the day rolled on I made a new plan. I was going to eat the biggest lunch possible so that no one could expect me to be hungry. I mean if you saw someone eat 2-3 sandwiches, plus salad, plus cookies you couldn’t expect him to eat more unless he is Chris–you know who you are .  So lunch rolls around and I couldn’t bring myself to eat. I  just wasn’t hungry. Sure I tried to force some food down, but the best I could manage was a bit of salad and half a cookie–no where near enough to excuse not eating dinner.

Two o’clock, three o’clock, four, and then five…time to leave. What now? I don’t want to eat raw meat and cow tongue! How gross is that. In fact the mere though that I was going to need to eat it started to make me feel queasy. No matter how much i tried not to think about it though, I kept coming back to it. Luckily by bosses both had some misgivings about it too, and as we made our way to the restaurant the jokes about what we were eating began. Somehow making light of the situation made it less worrisome and I began to forget about my impending food doooooooom!

By the time I was at the restaurant I was fully distracted. We sat down in this quaint little dinning room that was part of a converted house and began to talk.  First we ordered wine–always a solid start to dinner. Next they brought out bread and the tiniest appetizer you’ve ever seen. Literally it consisted of 3 one inch pieces of asparagus with crumbled bacon. Don’t get me wrong, it was delicious, but seriously? Three inches of asparagus is not a portion! Anyhow, we then were given bread and soup with a pouched egg in it. While this was a bit odd, I was cool with it. I mean after all I had raw eggs on a number of occasions in Japan; it never killed me.

What this soup did make me start thinking about was the Steak Tartare to come. Thanks to some good table conversation though i quickly forgot about it. When finally the dreaded dish arrived it looked like Corn beef hash, with the single differentiator being it was not cooked. At first I ignored it and stuck with the notion that it was just a tasty mystery meat. Some cooked meat has interesting and soft textures. Halfway through one bite though it hit me what i was eating, and for a moment–just a single moment–I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to keep eating. Luckily I composed myself and focused on the taste, because it was good…DARN good. In fact, if I’d not known what it was, I think I could have had a plate of the stuff. I was surprised and relieved. I was eating raw meat AND enjoying it. Who knew this was even possible?!

When hurdle #2 had arrived I was ready for it. I was going to not think about what I am eating used to be, but rather what it was now and more importantly how it tasted. Turns out, this is a winning strategy. The meat was super tender, the texture subtle, and the taste distinct. Again, I liked it…a lot. By the time I was done, I was hungrier than when I started. Lucky for me as a reward we had creme brulee. Yuuummmmm.

Sitting there at the end of the meal with my glass of champagne talking to people, I realized that I was very glad to have had circumstances force me to this experience. How many times do you have a chance to try something new? And more importantly for me, how often do I get motivated enough to ditch the status quo and take a chance on something I’ve never even entertained the idea of eating. The answer: never.

Thanks, Judith.

So recently my roommate Dan and I (mostly Dan, I won’t lie) have been working a lot–sometimes into the early hours of the morning. Last Tuesday was just such an occasion. After working all day I came home, sat down at my desk and started plugging away again. I made edits to a PowerPoint, tooled around in Excel, and spoke to my boss for near two-hours. Eventually (around 11:30) I got a break and wandered off from the grindstone to make some food while I awaited the “Final” version of the deck we needed to present to the client in the morning.

45 Minutes Later…

Collapsing back into my desk chair (which is actually a kitchen chair I stole since I’m too cheap to buy a desk chair), there it was: The Deck of Doom. Now, just to go through and make some minor changes… Or so I THOUGHT! As it turns out, my bosses idea of ‘final’ and my idea of ‘final’ are a few chasms apart. I could get into it, but that’s not the point of this post. Plus, it would probably reveal how OCD I can be about the way things look.

Anyhow, I didn’t know what else to do other than fix it; I sure wasn’t going to let it be presented the way it was. So that’s what I did. Realizing it was going to take a while I moved into the family room, put up my feet, turned on some music, and turned out the lights (aside from a small one in back of me). It was time to focus. For the next 3 hours or so I worked at making the deck look perfect. In a way it was cathartic. It’s nice working on something that you have total control over. There were no more moving parts, just making it polished and pretty. Granted this probably wouldn’t have taken as long with a mouse, but there was no way I was going to hole myself up in my room at a desk just so the work went a little faster.

Sometime between 2 and 3 I sat back, and paged through the deck looking at what I had done over the course of the last few hours. It was a gratifying experience. When I finally finished, saved the deck, and closed my computer, I continued to sit there with the music playing and the light on. And suddenly a thought popped into my head that I wasn’t expecting: I miss all-nighters. It was only 3 or so, but I was ready and rarin’ to go on through the night. I had no reason to, so I didn’t, but I could have…and more than that I wanted to!

So you are all thinking I’m crazy. I can understand that, cause i thought i was too–after the initial “I’m staying up!” feeling passed. Why is is it that i had this craving to work into the wee hours of the morning? Well i think there are many reasons, and I’ll try to hit the biggies:

1) Purpose – If there is one thing you have sitting there in the near dark typing away at a keyboard, it is purpose. To be honest, that’s a nice change of pace for me. Since I graduated I’ve had this nagging feeling like i’m spinning my wheels and not going anywhere. Part of that has to do with the fact that I don’t know where I want to go. Let me temper that: I don’t know where i want to be going NOW. Down the road i have some plans for me including post-grad, new jobs, new places, and further down the line family, kids, etc…. But at the moment all i can do is bide my time till a good business school will seriously consider me, and that means 2-3 years work experience at minimum. So yeah, purpose.

2) Freedom – Being  awake at night is kind of like having the  world to yourself. No demands, no forces pushing and pulling you in 5 directions. Some times I feel so crippled by this during the day I kind of put myself in neutral and go with the flow. While this is a preferred option to kicking and screaming and running away, it leaves me a bit out of control. Not in the “careening down the mountain with no breaks” out of control, but more a “dog on a leash” out of control. That total freedom of the all-nighter is fantastic. You have one force telling you what needs to get done, but even that force is more a fact of life than some compulsion. Like the fact you will die versus dying. Just because you need to be done with whatever it is by the time the sun comes up doesn’t mean it dictates forcibly everything you do. Additionally once you make that commitment to pull an all-nighter you are relieved of that burden. It will get done or it won’t. There is no longer that “maybe I can get sleep” thought roaming around trying to fight you away from that paper or work.

3) Accomplishment – If there is a single thing on this list that I feel most of you wouldn’t argue with its the overwhelming sense of accomplishment when you are done. Especially if you are done and you have time to breath…or sleep…or stay up to play games etc.

Come to think of it I’m a bit sad its 9:00 am and not 3:45 am. I could go off and enjoy some of that sense of accomplishment for finishing this. Alas, I must soldier on through work. Until next time…